The Reason We Don’t Change

The reason we don’t change is fear. The more specific reasons may vary – not sure how to start, concerned about making mistakes, worried about ridicule – but they all fall under the category of fear.

In my own career as an educator, I can think of several instances in which fear was the underlying factor in my decision making. One example that comes to mind is when I first started student teaching. My cooperating teacher expected me to read aloud every day to the 6th graders. He even provided me with a tried and true book (Where the Red Fern Grows).

I resisted this practice initially. I was uncomfortable with being in the spotlight for that long. All those eyes on me made me want to crawl out of my own skin. I do believe my introversion/anxiety led me to be more successful with student-directed classroom experiences such as cooperative learning. However, there were times when I should have been more of the center of attention for demonstrations. My cooperating teacher was often out of the classroom to attend to building leadership duties, so I found reasons to not read aloud: the previous lesson ran too long or I had to deal with a student behavior.

Eventually, I did come to integrate read aloud in my classroom and actually embrace it as a keystone of my instruction. So what changed? Among other things, I remember taking a closer look at reading aloud and trying to understand the benefits of this practice. The research I discovered about it along with the enjoyment I eventually experienced outweighed any anxieties I was experiencing. My fear gave way to the benefits.

To address a fear in order to make a positive change, blogger, author, and fellow introvert Beth Buelow offers a process:

  1. List your fears, uncertainties, and doubts, or “FUDS”.
  2. Perform a reality check.
  3. Realize you have choices.
  4. Choose a prosperity perspective.

I think if I had access to this process, I probably would have started reading aloud much sooner. For example:

  • My FUD was not just being in the spotlight but worrying about what others thought of me as I read aloud.
  • My reality check was that I was more concerned about how people would view me, which was probably not aligned with others’ actual perspectives.
  • My choices were to continue to avoid reading aloud in spite of all the evidence to support it or to create the conditions in which I would feel more comfortable with reading aloud.
  • My prosperity perspective (thinking in terms of “both/and” instead of “either/or”) was to have the students help me select the read aloud so that we would all have ownership in the story and I would feel less anxious about the experience. I also dimmed the lights so it helped everyone, but especially me, calm down during read aloud.

To summarize, I went from actively resisting reading aloud to becoming a strong proponent for the practice, including writing blog posts about favorite books to share with students for the Nerdy Book Club blog. This change came about not by resisting my fears, but by better understanding why I was afraid and then addressing it with strategies.

So what fear are you struggling with that is preventing you from changing? Are you trying to let a practice go and/or adopt a new one? How might this process help? If you have changed, how did you overcome your fear? Please share in the comments.